


haunted

by poalimal



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Gen, Grief, M/M, The Suffering of Vegans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-14 18:37:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21197552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poalimal/pseuds/poalimal
Summary: The porch light needed replacing: it flickered on once when Sam ran up the back stairs, and then it went out.





	haunted

The porch light needed replacing: it flickered on once when Sam ran up the back stairs, and then it went out.

Sam let himself in through the back door quickly, dripping rainwater all on his mother's welcome mat, shivering, slipping off his soaked socks and shoes and jacket. In the kitchen, he wiped his face with a paper towel, catching his breath and collecting himself. He heard in the living room his family chattering happily away, talking once more through _Back to the Future_. Ahh... watching movies with his family was an exercise in self-love and self-restraint.

As it stood, no one knew he was there yet - he'd parked in front of their neighbour's house for that very reason. He saw that there was food spread out across the counters, most of it probably cooling before Mom put it all away: buttery potatoes, mac and cheese, green beans and sliced ham... and a block of tofu, unseasoned and untouched, his mother's latest concession to Fi's vegan lifestyle.

Sam huffed out a laugh, shook his head, and began fixing himself a plate. He wasn't hungry, and he wouldn't eat much, but if he didn't try, his mother would ask if something was wrong - and Sam had no answers for her tonight.

He went to the fridge, he opened the fridge, and he stared inside. Hmm. What was the juice situation tonight?

above him the kit  
chen light flick  
ered  
the smell of cop  
per it  
filled the

air  
and  
all the  
hair on  
his back  
stood up  
slow

Behind him, Steve said: 'Come back to me.'

Sam stood up all the way straight, but he didn't turn. 'No, Steve,' he said.

A cool finger ran its way up his back. Sam shivered and swallowed hard.  
  
'But you miss me,' said Steve. 'You love me, you dream it, / I've seen it, you need me.'

Tears filled Sam's eyes. 'I can't,' he said. 'I'm sorry.'

'Why won't you look at me?' Steve asked, so close now. He was so _cold_.

'I can't, I can't,' said Sam, clenching his eyes shut. He felt far away from himself, as if he might fall to the floor.

'You can't what?'

Slowly, slowly, Sam turned around. In the kitchen entryway, Jamie stood staring. Steve hung back without saying anything, a cold wave of static pressing all along Sam's back.

If the world was fair, Sam thought to himself, Steve would've never left either of them behind.

The fridge began to beep urgently at him. And still Sam did not turn to look at Steve. Instead he just looked back at Jamie, taking in the sight of his weary face. Sam had seen him last at the funeral, but he hadn't spoken to him since. In some way, he realised, he had never really stopped thinking of Jamie as something of Steve's - they'd certainly never been close enough, before, for Jamie to visit Sam's family when he wasn't there. But Sam saw the oversight now for what it was: a broken jar tucked deep into his lungs.

And he knew, then, that he had to tell him. Maybe Jamie would laugh at him, maybe he would get angry - at least Sam wouldn't be alone in it anymore.

'If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy,' Sam warned. Behind him Steve let out a melting little croon. Sam tried not to flinch, and found himself trembling instead. 'Hell, even _I_ think I'm crazy.'

A spark, then, in Jamie's eyes - quickly smothered. He came close and shut the fridge door, plunging the room into silence again; and he seemed so solid and sturdy, so utterly _real_, that Sam could not help but lean into his touch when he put a hand on Sam's shoulder.

'Can you see him, too?' said Jamie.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in part after watching the Netflix adaptation of Shirley Jackson's _The Haunting of Hill House_. 
> 
> I also like what Rabbi David Wolpe says in [Dybbuks, demons and exorcism in Judaism](https://jewishjournal.com/cover_story/105624/): '[The concept of an] exorcism... reflects the belief, deeply held and derived from the Talmud, that we were constantly surrounded by invisible forces. In a world of suffering, who could believe that such forces would never be malevolent?'


End file.
